Did anyone watch Extreme Weight Loss the other night? It was the best episode of all time, if you didn’t get a chance, try and catch it online. For the first 90 days, she was given a target amount of weight to lose and she was killing herself trying to hit that number. For the rest of the year, the trainer totally changed her focus. He had her focus on fitness and she did. She didn’t lose weight very fast, but she totally transformed her body and THAT’S WHAT MATTERS. 

Amazing. Love it and her story had me sobbing the entire show. 

This has been something I have been focused on for the past year. I have struggled with my weight since my youngest child (who is now 5) was born. I have tried EVERYTHING and it wasn’t until I stopped trying, that the weight came off. Over the past year I have lost and maintained a 45lb loss. Since November, I wanted to “kick it up a notch” and try and get more weight off, which unfortunately led to some undisclosed disordered eating and other things I don’t want to discuss right now, but it wasn’t good. I have tried to put on a happy face for the blog over the past 6 months, but I haven’t been happy. I have been struggling and didn’t know how/want to bring it up on the blog. 

This episode was meant for me to watch. As I sat crying through most of it, I realized that my body is MY BODY. It doesn’t matter to anyone else that I have stretch marks – hello, 3 pregnancies and 3 c-sections – or that I will never be a bikini model or bodybuilder. Not that there is anything wrong with it, those just aren’t for me. I admire the dedication to competing and the diet, but it’s not me. 

I have had this mindset that I needed to be training for something in order to work out; a race, a program to finish, training to form certain muscles, etc. In the end, the only thing that matters is how I feel. In the end, working out needs to be FUN for me, I’m not someone who wants to “train.” I just want to get healthier and be around longer for my kids. Some people need this and for them, GO FOR IT! I will cheer you on every step of the way. 

I realize a lot of this post doesn’t make a whole lot of sense, just trying to keep it real and stop living behind the happy face…and just live.


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