Perspective

I’ve had a few hours to process this now, but my thoughts are still a bit jumbled and scattered. I first went to this dr about a year ago and was told in no uncertain terms that I without a doubt, HAD to lose weight. I was stubborn and didn’t go back for 3 month check ups like she wanted, but I went in this morning. 

“You look great, and you have come such a long way…but you still have some work to do.” 

Ouch. My blood pressure has come down a lot since that first appointment, but I need to bring it down more and since I’ve been successful so far with getting it down with diet and exercise alone, she’s optimistic in the fact that with even more weight loss, I can bring it down to a normal blood pressure reading. According to the BMI chart, I’m still considered obese, not overweight…just straight up obese. 

Not gonna lie, that hurt to see that. 

I feel like I have come SO far, but when my weight is put into perspective, I HAD to lose weight before, now it’s not as dire, but I still have work to do. 

Now that I’ve had some time to think about things, I realize she’s right. When I first lost weight before, this weight I’m at now was just a stepping stone, I was not even close to where I wanted to be. BUT, because I put on even more weight, and then dropping nearly 50lbs, I look smaller because of how big I let myself get over the past couple of years. 

I straight up refuse to diet, but I know I can change a few things; add in more lean proteins and vegetables, drop the mid-week pizza dinners and mid-week out to lunch dates. 

After watching the Biggest Loser finale, I realized that I’m not where I want to be yet and this Dr. appointment really kicked me into high gear. I wasn’t going to weigh myself anymore, but I do realize that it’s simply a tool, and one that should be used sparingly, the scale does NOT define who I am, only the progress that I have made and will continue to make. Instead of leaving the scale in the bathroom, it will be put in a closet until Monday mornings when I will weigh myself and then it will go back away. I haven’t decided on whether or not I’ll be posting my weekly weigh ins again, because I don’t want that to be the focus of this blog. 

I don’t even know if this post will make sense to anyone else, but these are the thoughts and feelings I’ve had running through my brain since 8:45 this morning and I needed to let them loose. 

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