For the past 6 weeks I’ve been conducting a bit of an experiment, I let go of all food rules and restrictions I’ve had for myself for years. I have been tracking my calories with pen and paper, but that’s it. Whatever I’ve wanted to eat, I’ve been eating and exercised because I wanted to, not because I had a certain goal to reach. I stopped weighing myself daily and haven’t weighed myself since the day the experiment started. I was going to wait until July 1st to weigh in again, but was curious and weighed myself this morning.
The result? I’m down almost 10lbs. I still have a long way to go, but I can’t even tell you how free I feel. I stopped worrying about what foods I should or shouldn’t eat, what beverages I should or shouldn’t drink and stopped worrying if I wasn’t eating something every 2-3 hours. I have learned to listen to my body and I have learned to enjoy food again. I’ve also learned that food has NO control over me and if I don’t drink 100 oz of water I’ll still lose weight. While Diet Coke/Diet Pepsi may not be the best thing in the world, I can still drink that and the fear I once had that I would instantly gain weight from drinking my beloved diet coke is now a distant memory.
My plan is to continue on this path I’ve been on. I honestly have no idea what my “goal weight” is because I don’t have one. I want to be in a place where I can be at a healthy and happy weight. I haven’t been at a healthy weight in almost 15 years, so I really don’t even know what that range is…but I do know I’m no where near it. I want to be able to walk to my room without breaking a sweat or getting winded, I want to be able to not feel like I’m going to crash every day at 2pm, I want to be able to climb the sand dunes this summer, I want to be able to sit outside and not feel like I’m going to melt because I have so much “insulation.” I don’t want to feel like crap when I look at pictures.
I haven’t been able to lose 10lbs in years, it’s always been a pound here, gain a pound the next week and the cycle just kept repeating itself until I just gave up. Now that I’ve focused on other issues and chilled out on every stupid calorie and ingredient in my food, my body is chilling out and releasing this weight I’ve held on to for so long.
Like I said, I have no idea what’s going to happen next. I know that I still have a long way to go, but I’m actually doing it!!!! I’m finally working my way to the “after” I’ve been dreaming about for months and months. To all those who told me to just chill out and relax and stop being so hard on myself, THANK YOU! You were right!!!