Scared

I feel as if I may have had a breakthrough. Last year at this time, I had such high hopes for 2010. I made a weekly, monthly and year plan for weight loss and fitness. I had things planned out months in advance. I was ready to tackle the fitness side me of wanting to come out and hoping the weight loss would happen. And then it was April.

My whole world was shattered in a 5 minute conversation. How could it be possible that he was gone? How in the world did this happen? I had JUST talked to him! We were supposed to go to the library, relax during the afternoon, how could my DAD be gone? 

Ever since that happened, I have had major issues with planning. Major. I always had this thought in the back of my mind; “why plan, who knows what will happen?” So, I stopped making plans for the future. I was reading yesterday about everyone’s goals and plans for the year and I just couldn’t do it. I thought about this a lot yesterday.
                                  Why am I so scared? I can’t be afraid to plan for the future. 


It’s true. You never know what will happen, no one does, but I can still plan for the future and get excited about things to happen again. For one thing, I know my Dad would be devastated to see my like this and I don’t want to disappoint him.

And then I did it, I made a fitness plan. 
And I am going to share it, because I want to be accountable to someone other than myself. Over the past couple of years I have purchased various workout DVD systems. Each one comes with a 90 day (except 1) program to follow. Two of them I have started 5 million times this year, but after a few days I stop and never go back. The other 2 systems I’ve only opened the package. So, I’m starting at the beginning. 

Doing each system from start to finish. My 4 systems: Turbo Jam, ChaLEAN Extreme, Turbo Fire and P90X.
I’m starting with Turbo Jam and I started it yesterday. Part of starting a new program is doing the starting measurements. Again, because I want to be accountable to someone other than myself, I am posting my starting measurements right now.
 Turbo Jam – Day 1 Measurements

Weight: 207.8 
Neck: 15.25″
Chest: 43″
Waist: 41.2″
Hips: 43.8″
Left Thigh: 23″
Right Thigh: 23″
Left Bicep: 14.5″
Right Bicep: 14.5″
I will do the same measurements every 30 days. 
So, there it is. While I don’t know what the future holds, I’m still going to plan for the best and make 2011 the year I know it can be!
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29 thoughts on “Scared

  1. Ditto that! You are awesome, Jen! And I'm already excited to see the results. You can do it!!! Being open and sharing will no doubt help, too. We're here for you!

  2. Huge props to you for outlining this plan for yourself and posting it. You can do this!!! Here's to a healthy and fit 2011 – I'm pulling for you! πŸ™‚

  3. The wonderful thing about a blog is that in a weird way it totally holds you accountable for what you write! Even better, it gives you a bunch of virtual cheerleaders who are cheering you on from afar!

  4. I am cheering you on. You CAN and WILL do it. There is no exception.I go for my first 2011 measurements on Friday and will try to remember to circle back around.I've finally entered "onederland" and am now 198.4. Hoping to stay there and get to my goal weight (170) by my 45 birthday in May.

  5. I've never tried it but I've heard good things about Turbo Jam, you'll have to let us know what you think of it! Congrats on taking the bull by the horns – I know this year will be a better one for you. I need to follow your example and get back on an exercise plan stat (as soon as I got home I completely couch potatoed it! GRR!)

  6. I know its hard, but you'll see that it does get easier, and the good times you had with your Dad will bring a smile to your face instead of tears.That being said – GREAT EXERCISE PLAN! I have confidence that you will keep going – just take it one day at a time – oh, and getting up at 4:30 a.m.??!! You rock sista! πŸ˜€

  7. oh I'm so sorry this is what you had to go through but it couldn't be clearer how it's made you such a stronger person! I'm so impressed and inspired by your motivation to get back on track!

  8. So proud of you! It is the hardest things in life that shape the framework of who we are as individuals. You are an extremely strong woman! Good luck with the fitness plan! I'm rootin' for ya!

  9. I have found having to report to a blog really helps. I don't want to look stupid to my readers. Good luck this year! We are both going to make it better than 2010!

  10. I'm circling back around with my measurements from this morning (but I was UP 3.8# today, don't even get me started), to 204 lbs.Thankfully, my measurements revealed another 4.25 inches gone bringing me to:Neck 14.75Chest 43.50Rt Bicep 12.25Waist-Narrow 37.50Waist-BellyButton 39.25Hips 44.25Rt Thigh 23.00Rt Calf 15.25Wrist 6.50New day, beginning of a new week for me (WW-wise) and I am determined to be down in lbs next week.

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