Here we go…

I’m not even sure why I’m posting this, but it’s been eating at me and it’s time I get honest and real with myself before I can get help. Deep breath…

I’m fat, lazy, un-motivated, I have no drive, I love diet coke, I love food and *gasp* I hate to exercise. I have a bunch of DVD’s, I have a Gazelle, a mini-trampoline, a double jogger; all things that would help me lose weight if I would just put forth the effort. I really don’t know what to do anymore. I have been *trying* and I use that term very loosely since my baby (who is now a toddler) was 6 months old. I was 188 pounds in October of 2008, currently I’m in the 190’s. How sad and gross is that? I have every good intention and then I don’t know what happens, temptation hits I guess and I cave. I have been watching the scale creep higher and higher every single day, I have health problems, my kids are picking up on my bad habits; WTF is wrong with me?!

Ok, so why did I post this? I really don’t know. I don’t know what the crap to do. I need help. But at the same time, NO ONE can do this for me! I freaking have to do it myself. I need to be stronger, I need to stay the crap away from fast food, diet coke and get my a** off the couch and out of bed and work out!!

I’ve barely been online this week, everything is bringing me down and I’ve just stayed away, but that ends today.

I know most of this doesn’t make sense, I just had to let it out. Thanks for reading!!


6 thoughts on “Here we go…

  1. Oh, Jen. I know exactly what you're going through. I could have written that post, except that I weigh a lot more. The thing that is working for me, (right now-we'll see how it goes in the future) is instituting small, easy changes slowly. It's helping this journey to seem a lot less overwhelming. Maybe start cutting down on fast food, eating only once a week, then cut down on the diet coke, then the exercise. You can do this!!!

  2. hugs Jen. I'm sorry you are feeling so down and I just wanted to say that I think you're doing a great job. It's hard to lose weight and the fact that you keep on getting back up on the wagon after each fall, is a great thing. Don't give up but also don't obsess over it. Maybe try going for walks outside now that it's getting nicer out, try to do more things outside with the kids so that it keeps you out of the house and away from the temptations. You're right, nobody can do this for you but they can definitely be there to support you and cheer you on. One day it'll just "click" and the weight will start shedding off but till then, don't give up and keep trying to find new ways of being active or eating right. Also, about eating out. Don't beat yourself up about it, it's HARD to give that up but try limiting it to 1-2 days a week and then work your way up to once a week then to 2 times a month, etc. It took a long time for the weight to come on and it's gonna take a long time to readjust your body to the new foods and the new lifestyle. Just don't give up πŸ™‚

  3. Sorry you are so discouraged right now, but I'm glad that you wrote down how you feel; I think writing down how we feel can be very powerful and freeing. And you can turn this around, one step at a time. What worked for me was focusing on small changes to improve my health. Once I let go of losing weight and focused on making healthier choices, the weight came off. VERY slowly. But it came off. And it will come off for you.

  4. Jen, you are a wonderful motivator and you have the tools to make it happen for yourself. You don't fail until you quit trying so KEEP TRYING! I've been working on it for 3 1/2 years now- don't give up! You will succeed!

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