I’m not even sure why I’m posting this, but it’s been eating at me and it’s time I get honest and real with myself before I can get help. Deep breath…
I’m fat, lazy, un-motivated, I have no drive, I love diet coke, I love food and *gasp* I hate to exercise. I have a bunch of DVD’s, I have a Gazelle, a mini-trampoline, a double jogger; all things that would help me lose weight if I would just put forth the effort. I really don’t know what to do anymore. I have been *trying* and I use that term very loosely since my baby (who is now a toddler) was 6 months old. I was 188 pounds in October of 2008, currently I’m in the 190’s. How sad and gross is that? I have every good intention and then I don’t know what happens, temptation hits I guess and I cave. I have been watching the scale creep higher and higher every single day, I have health problems, my kids are picking up on my bad habits; WTF is wrong with me?!
Ok, so why did I post this? I really don’t know. I don’t know what the crap to do. I need help. But at the same time, NO ONE can do this for me! I freaking have to do it myself. I need to be stronger, I need to stay the crap away from fast food, diet coke and get my a** off the couch and out of bed and work out!!
I’ve barely been online this week, everything is bringing me down and I’ve just stayed away, but that ends today.
I know most of this doesn’t make sense, I just had to let it out. Thanks for reading!!